JOCO

I'm coining a new term, JOCO. It's a cousin of FOMO and JOMO...that you've never heard of. Here's why it's my new favorite term...

We've heard of FOMO (the fear of missing out) and JOMO (the joy of missing out) for those excited to take a break from social activity.

But, what about the joy of connecting others, JOCO?

The pure excitement of saying I know this person and I know another person and they should connect because of this specific reason, and then making it happen. That brings me so much joy.

And, I greatly appreciate it when a fellow Connector introduces me to a human I should know and they're very intentional and clear about why we should be connected.

If you ask me, meeting the right people at the right time can change everything. The more specific you can be about why two people should connect, the more generous the act is.

Wrestling with the resistance

Doing 'the hard part' sucks ... but there are two ways to get through it in a less painful way.

1) Do the hard part sooner rather than later.

2) Find encouragement cheerleaders.

If you're putting something off because it's too hard, that's a good sign you should do it first. Waiting until later gives the task power and free, prime real estate in our brain (that it doesn't deserve!).

1) Name it. Put 'the hard part' physically on your to-do list.

2) Break it into smaller tasks, so it doesn't seem so daunting.

3) Make it a priority. Create a deadline and some urgency around it.

A friend of mine (and Groover) Avraham Byers uses a system where he has two to-do lists. In order to start doing things on the second to-do list, he needs to check off everything on the first one.

Follow, Avraham's method; put that hard part of that first list. Then, you have to do it in order to move on.

The second piece of this is finding people to say, "keep going".

A couple of years ago, Ben Platt wrote a song called, "Grow As We Go".

Two lines have stuck with me since the first time I heard them.

"I don't know how this river runs. But I'd like the company through every twist and turn..."

Find people in your life who can be your company as you conquer the hard tasks on your to-do list.

Encouragement cheerleaders keep you on the hook. They check-in. They keep you accountable. They're invested in you as a human and your work.

If you need a sign to do the hard thing on your to-do list you've been pushing off, this is it. Go do it.

Hop on a train

Decision-making is like standing on a train platform with a ticket. You don't have a train schedule, or map of where the trains go, or an understanding of how long the journey will be.

Which train are you going to get on next?

I was recently standing on that train platform, trying to decide if I should hop on a train that I didn't love the look of, one that wasn't 100% what I was expecting but had awesome potential, another that checked all the boxes except it might not last very long, and of course, the dozens of other trains that could be arriving at the station soon that I didn't know about.

I have a lot of friends who have been standing on the train platform in the last six months.

This analogy reminds me of the novel, The Midnight Library by Matthew Haig, in which the main character, Nora, gets the chance to open any book in the fictional library to enter another reality of what her life could be like if she made a different decision, or, "hopped on a different train" as I'd like to say.

The catch was if Nora started to think about there being a "better train" out there, then she'd have to leave that life and start over again.

The lesson here is to get on a train that you're pretty sure about; it's consistent with who you are as a human and helps you develop a deeper understanding of who you are. We'll never be 100% sure about our decisions, but if it's those two things, you'll know it's a train full of growth.

Once you get on that train, don't think about the other trains that could have shown up at the station later or the ones you could have hopped on. Commit to it 100%. See what happens. ●●● I posted this on LinkedIn and a friend of mine, Brian Helfman, added this addition that is such an important reminder...thanks, Brian. "And you're not stuck on any train forever, unless you want to be! Hop on, soak in the sights, make friends, learn and grow. Every train station you approach in the future represents an opportunity to reevaluate whether the train you're on is still the one you want to be on."